In your career, you will encounter many difficult situations that will test your resolve. Situations can include: conflict with colleagues, a less than supportive boss, customer complaints, increased workloads, promotion rejection, or through making a simple error of judgment. In business, things will not always go smoothly, and there are a multitude of obstacles and challenges to overcome. However, no matter what the situation, handling any difficulties head on is a far better solution than to let a situation escalate out of control.

Here are 5 important steps to changing the outcome of a difficult situation.

1. Embrace Acceptance

Whatever happens at work, moaning about it will not make it better. Learning to accept a situation, however difficult, is the first step to moving on and overcoming your own emotional response to it. Acceptance can bring you to a calm point where you can consider future options, and avoid focusing negatively on the situation.

2. Improve Communication

Approach every situation with a degree of control, and be prepared to clear the air, even when there is tension and disharmony. Communicate the right way though, consider your viewpoint carefully, do not get flustered or emotional. Speak clearly, clarify your point, and watch your body language as this can speak volumes.

3. Let Go of Unfairness

There will be times when you feel as if a situation is just not fair. Perhaps you missed out on your bonus, an award or a pay rise. It’s difficult, but it’s life. Let go of the ‘it’s not fair’ frame of mind and consider whether you could have improved the situation in any way, if not, let it go. If you made a mistake, learn from it. Next time, you will approach the situation with a clearer perspective.

4. View Monumental Problems with Clarity

It’s easy to make a problem become disproportionate. You may feel responsible for a particular situation; you may be struggling to resolve an issue. Perhaps you said the wrong thing and upset a colleague. Whether it is a problem that you have inadvertently caused, or, a problem that you are expected to resolve, it’s important to approach the situation with renewed focus and clarity. Forget right or wrong, blame, or feeling under pressure. Focus all of your energy on resolving the issue, and it may not be as insurmountable a problem as it first appeared to be.

5. Improve Listening Skills

Whatever your role within an organisation, you are likely to have to deal with internal and external gripes. The best way to cope and to control a difficult situation is to really listen. Say very little and let the other person have their say. Make notes throughout if the situation is complex, stay focussed, and be professional. Most often people feel that they are unimportant. By listening to them and understanding, it may be possible to resolve a problem before it even starts.

As the old saying goes, “There is no ‘I’ in team.” There are, however, a number of people that must come together to create a cohesive unit working towards a common goal. If this isn’t the case, a team will likely find itself facing failure.

If you are in a team situation in the workplace, your contributions, actions and reactions will all matter. The better you handle yourself, the stronger your team is likely to become. Whether you’re a manager leading a team or one of its members, creating a successful team is as much your responsibility as it is everyone else’s.

Here are some tips that can help you become a productive, vital part of a team:

Play to your strengths.

Your strengths, skills and abilities are the commodities you bring to your team. Identify them and don’t be afraid to share what you do best. Ideally, your team will include a number of people with varying strengths. When this is the case, it becomes much easier to compensate for any weaknesses.

Identify and be honest about your weaknesses.

Identifying and understanding your weaknesses will help you become a stronger, more valuable team member. When you know where your weaknesses lie, you can take actions to overcome them. Other team members will ideally be poised to step in and help on issues that are not best suited to your abilities. By understanding your weaknesses, you can learn to accept this help without feeling threatened. Essentially, it can help you become a better team player.

Communicate clearly.

Communication is critical for any successful team. To get to a place where the team works like a ‘well-oiled machine’, it’s essential to have clear, concise lines of communication. To do your part, take steps to master some of the keys to successful communication: listen, paraphrase, and reflect.

Listen actively what those around you are saying. This means focusing intently on the person or people speaking and consciously working to digest what has been said.

Paraphrase. Once you feel you have an understanding of what has been said, repeat or more accurately paraphrase the dialogue. This will help you make sure you have a full understanding of instructions, ideas, concerns or opinions that are being shared with you.

Reflect. Thinking before you speak is essential. If you slow down enough to do this, you can make sure you say what you mean and mean what you say.

Do not be afraid to delegate or share work.

While teams are designed to make sure projects or tasks are tackled efficiently and effectively, one or two members quite often carry the load. In the most highly functional teams, every member effectively shares work and contributes to overall success. Tasks must be delegated appropriately based on strengths and weaknesses.

Do not try to grab the limelight.

In a well-functioning team all members are ‘stars.’ As it is in sports, it does take every member performing well to bring home a win. Keep this in mind and try to focus on the task at hand and the role you play in making it happen. The limelight will shine on the entire team – you included – if the assigned tasks are handled with expertise.

Do not shy away from teambuilding events.

Learning to work as part of a successful team rarely happens overnight. It can take time to build trust and an instinctual understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. This is where teambuilding exercises and events can come into play. While these exercises can seem silly on the surface, they can pay off by helping members create a cohesive working bond.

While the saying goes there is no “I” in team, this is not entirely true. When every individual learns how to work for the good of the team, everyone wins. The process starts with you.

In today’s business world, all – not most – positions require teamwork. The old days of going to work, doing your job, and never connecting with another human being are long gone. Whether through emails, phone calls, or face-to-face, you are required to work with others constantly, regardless of your physical work environment. You might be lucky enough to have a hard-wall office with a door, but it’s more likely you have a cubicle or even just a desk in an open space floor plan.

Your work probably involves projects where co-workers complete some of the stages. You also might have a regular task that is only part of a series, somewhat like the cars of a train. In this case, your ‘train car’ depends upon the ‘car’ before yours, and the ‘car’ after yours depends upon what you do. Always being part of a team can be frustrating sometimes, but here are some tips that can help you build your reputation as a team player in a team that focuses on results by creating a co-operative atmosphere:

T	ake the initiative. More specifically, take the initiative for ensuring that all your team members feel they are a necessary part of the team.
E	nergise your approach. Your enthusiasm can be the key to enhancing your team members’ contributions. Energy travels through a group the same way a cold or flu can. Before you know it, everyone is pitching in with a good attitude.
A	sk questions. If a team member seems slow, or if they aren’t participating the way you would expect, ask questions to see if all is well. The sluggishness might be no more than the person wanting to work on a different part of the project, but it may be something more serious.
M	ake and meet your goals. Although you want to be an integral part of your team, remember that you are the one responsible for creating your own niche and reaching your own professional career goals.
W	elcome change. One of the most common hardships we face in today’s busy world is the rate of change – change in policies, change in procedures, change in styles, change in personnel, change in responsibilities. The list goes on and on. Learn to welcome change instead of fearing it, and your team will appreciate your innovative attitude.
O	pen your eyes. Wake up and look around. Know what is going on with your team, both personally and professionally. Being friendly to your co-workers helps maintain the connections you all have with each other.
R	each out to others. Whether you need help to complete a task or you are offering help to someone else, never be embarrassed to speak up. The more you show others that you trust them, the more they will trust you and each other as well.
K	now your strengths and weaknesses. All of these tips listed suggest you jump right in and take on tasks and responsibilities that might be unfamiliar to you. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone, but also don’t take on duties that are completely foreign to you, either. You want to decrease confusion, not increase it.

As these tips suggest, a sort of synergy exists among team members. Be cheerful and enthusiastic, and your team will be full of energy too. By making everyone comfortable, trust is built and people are willing to step up. In other words, making a human connection with your team members makes the team work together more effectively.

Connecting with your employees

We all know the story of Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear. Each had specific traits and characteristics – both good and bad. Similarly, we could look at bosses as one of these three types:

The Buddy. This is the boss who is everyone’s friend. He goes out for drinks with the crowd after work. He plays golf with team members on the weekend. He goes overboard when making a connection. Those who he doesn’t hang out with feel like second best.

The Cold Fish. This is the boss who doesn’t remember your name unless you do something wrong. She stays in her office and doesn’t mingle. She frowns when she sees you on break. It feels like she’s in charge of a prison, not an office – all work, no fun, and no personalities allowed. She doesn’t make any connection with her staff.

The Hero. Here we have the boss who understands. He’s there when you need him, and he stays out of the way when you don’t. He knows who you are and supports you and your goals. He works with you instead of just giving orders and instructions. He makes a connection without crossing the boss/employee line.

Needless to say, the third type of boss, the Hero, is very hard to find. Few employees would describe their boss in this way. But really, while no one can be perfect, all bosses could certainly work toward improving communication with their staff so that they make a much better connection without going too far.

How to make connections with your staff

Making that kind of connection with your employees can be one of the most difficult jobs you undertake. You must keep a line drawn that separates you and your employees, but you also need to care about them as individuals in both their professional and personal lives. You need to inspire their best performance while keeping time for your own tasks and responsibilities.

The key to developing professional relationships that provide that connection is communication. What you communicate and how you communicate can help you develop Hero characteristics and make stable connections with your staff. Here are some guidelines for developing a Hero style of communication:

1. Be interested. Don’t just act interested; be interested in your employees’ personal lives. Ask them how they spent their weekend. Comment on photographs or novelties on their desks. Keep note cards on each employee, if necessary, and review them before a meeting.
2. Be professional. Even though you need to be interested in your employees’ personally, you need to keep the relationship professional. You need to know when an employee is having trouble at home, but you don’t need to let your employees know about your problems unless you know it is going to affect your performance. Remember, you’re a boss, not a friend.
3. Know the jobs. Become familiar with your employees’ job responsibilities. You can’t connect with them if you don’t know what they do.
4. Determine goals. Work with your employees to determine their professional goals. Knowing where they are headed lets you connect on a mentoring level. Many bosses forget that they aren’t just policing employees for timeliness or absences. A good boss teaches employees how to grow and advance toward their goals.
5. Motivate. Support your employees in their professional growth. Delegate, challenge and empower them with new duties and responsibilities. Explaining that these duties are a reward for a job well done can go a long way toward connecting with your staff.
6. Be loyal. You want your employees to be loyal to you and to the company. Be sure to show loyalty for them as well. Take responsibility for the operation of the department ,and don’t throw them to the wolves if an issue arises.
7. Listen. Remember that listening is half of communicating. Don’t read email or jot notes in your calendar while an employee is speaking. Give them your full attention. Show them the same respect that you expect when you speak.
8. Sandwich comments. If you need to reprimand an employee, start and end with a good point about their performance. Sandwich the reprimand between the two good statements. Employees appreciate knowing that you see the good as well as the bad in their performance.
9. Communicate clearly. Remember the question words: who, what, when, where, why, and how? Each employee has a different personality and a different way of learning. One might be interested in why there is a change coming, but another might want to know how it will affect them. Clarify the answers to all of the question words so that you provide complete information.
10. Communicate effectively. This is one of the most important points you need to remember: Understand that employees don’t always hear what you think you are saying. If you say, “Profits were down last quarter,” they might hear “Lay-offs are coming.” If you say, “Sue, I’d like to talk with you after the meeting,” Sue might hear “You’ve done something wrong.”

What you say and how you say it can help you make connections with your staff – connections that will lead to trust, creativity, innovation and enhanced performance. Your staff will be comfortable communicating with you and their co-workers, and you will end up with the reputation of a Hero boss.

Have you ever been afraid at work – afraid to ask a question or afraid to make a suggestion? Even if you are a confident person, perhaps you had a feeling more of hesitation or worry. No matter what you call it, chances are your answer is yes. At some time or another, most of us have been fearful or hesitant to offer a suggestion or new idea at work. It can also be difficult to ask for guidance, help, or even time off.

Now consider this: Have you ever been afraid to ask a question or make a suggestion with your family or friends? You probably answered “no,” or at least “not as often.”

The main reason for this is that you almost certainly have better communication skills and patterns with your family and friends than you do with co-workers and others at the office. You’ve been around your friends and family longer, and you know their speech patterns, tones, style of joking, and so on. As a result, you are more comfortable with them and enjoy better relationships with them.

Comfortable communication equals better relationships

Now think about what it would be like if you could have that same kind of comfortable communication with your office mates. If better communication equals better relationships at home, wouldn’t the same hold true for work? Of course it would! Ensuring that you convey your messages clearly and coherently will help make sure you are not misunderstood. This should naturally result in better communication all around which, in turn, will improve relationships significantly.

Remember, though, that the opposite holds true as well. Communication is a two-way street, and good listening skills are half – if not more – of good communication. You don’t want to end up misunderstanding someone else because you weren’t really listening to what they were saying. Better communication results in better relationships because it puts everyone on the same track. Fewer misunderstandings happen when you are clear, when you provide specific details, and when you are both practising effective listening skills.

Better relationships equal improved morale and increased productivity

Once you start developing better relationships through better communication, you’ll benefit in several ways.

1. You’ll feel more comfortable at work, more accepted. Most of us want to feel like a valued and valuable part of a group, a member of something.
2. With good communication skills, you’ll feel like you belong, like you are a part of the office community.
3. You won’t have that fear of stepping forward as much, because as your comfort level increases your professional relationships will strengthen.
4. Feeling more comfortable at work will make you feel better about your contributions to the office workload in general. There’s nothing like the feeling you get from being a trusted and effective team member.
5. You will find you can make suggestions for changing procedures, or even changing a product, without worrying about what others might think.
6. Better yet, since you’ll feel better about being at work and being around your co-workers and bosses, your morale will improve.
7. Improved morale, in turn, will help you be more productive.
8. You won’t have that fear of stepping forward as much because you know your co-workers understand you better. You don’t need to become friends with everyone; you just need to improve the working relationship you have with them so that working together becomes much more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Improved morale and increased productivity benefits everyone

Good communication is a win/win situation for everyone in the office. Once you improve working relationships with co-workers, you will automatically feel better and work harder. Your co-workers are happy because there are fewer chances for misunderstandings, and now they know you just a bit better. Your boss is happy because the better communication in the office has resulted in happier workers who are more productive.

You’ll be thrilled to make that suggestion or ask that question because you’ll know that others are willing to listen to you. You know they aren’t going to laugh at you or roll their eyes, even if you come up with an off-the-cuff comment. They’re going to give you the respect you deserve. You’ll increase your productivity because people won’t misunderstand you and you won’t misunderstand others.

Let’s look at the formula backwards: To improve morale and increase productivity, you need better relationships, which are achieved through better communication. It’s really quite simple. In a nutshell, better communication is the way you can increase productivity and become a more valuable member of your team.

Think about the most successful business person you know. Place an image of them in your mind; speaking with a potential client, delegating a task to an employee, speaking to a partner in a board meeting. One thing should be clear about their demeanor; they treat those around them in a way that establishes and maintains positive business relationships.

Good business requires great business relationships.

The dictionary defines a business relationship as a “formal contractual relationship established to provide for regular banking or brokerage or business services.” It seems to me this entire paradigm misses the point. The world is filled with people, not products and consumers. These real people desire a connection with other people – people they want to work with and can trust for the long term.

No matter what your profession, it’s vital to establish and maintain relationships. Here are my top 10 reasons why you need to focus on establishing positive relationships for a growing business and increasing success:

1. Company identity: reputation, image

Branding is huge. Being kind, courteous and attentive to clients will instantly infuse your brand with some personality. People will come to know you and your business as trustworthy. Establishing a corporate ‘self’ isn’t just a trick for marketers. You can improve your brand every day by maintaining positive relationships.

2. Long-term profitability: regular clients

Selling one thing to one person doesn’t make a business. It takes loyal repeat customers to really fuel the fires of commercial success. We are moving more and more towards a subscription model of business with the ultimate goal being to establish and maintain business relationships with clients for the long term.

3. Brand resilience: business, even in the hardest times

When times are tight, purse strings are too. People are risk averse by nature and will cut back business when times are tough. What little business that is being done will be done between friends. Increase your stability during the low-times by maintaining a strong network of relationships. This point remains true in personal life as well.

4. Clients/customer satisfaction

It’s impossible to get everything right all the time, but it is important to fix problems when they arise. Clients can easily move past issues if they are treated with respect and really listened to. Customer-facing staff need to be aware that their behaviour directly affects your business relationships and shapes the future of your company. A happy customer is crucial for a thriving business.

5. Word of mouth advertisement

People want to share quality information with friends and colleagues, and will readily recommend your products and services if you establish a positive relationship with them. This can be achieved by honing up on your communication and business etiquette in order to make a sparkling impression. Word of mouth marketing starts with you.

6. Improved teamwork and working environment

Healthy business relationships between co-workers are vital for an energetic workplace. By treating your colleagues with respect and warmth, you will increase productivity and the desire to do a good job. A grumpy boss can immediately throw the whole work atmosphere into a gloom. Sow the seeds of respect and you will reap the rewards.

7. Improved communication skills

More effective communication lead to more confidence when interacting with clients and colleagues. When we approach a relationship with a solid communication skillset, we become positive thinkers rather than self-doubters. When you tend to business relationships with positive intent and self-confidence, you are setting yourself up for success.

8. Friendships

Business relationships can turn into friendships. After college, the majority of new friendships are started between co-workers and colleagues. It isn’t fun to be alone all the time doing paperwork and staring out the window. Establish positive relationships with your co-workers and they could become life-long friends.

9. Personal well-being

It’s not only about profit. Having positive relationships with those around you can infuse your day with joy and fulfillment. To develop happiness at the workplace you need to be open, affirming and feel good about the people you work with.

10. Networking and social media

Strong business relationships require nurturing. The more you positively interact with a person, the closer you two become over time. This influence can spread into an entire network of interconnected influence, where each person maintains a thread of connection between increasing numbers of others. If you need to be heard by a large number of people, you need them to be listening to you already. In this noisy world, simply shouting into the crowd won’t get you noticed. Maintain your network and you have a voice.

From my experience, a business relationship is a natural extension of a personal connection, with the fundamental distinction of an added element of mutual (business) gain. Establishing and maintaining strong business relationships is key to a happy and successful career.

This moment is a perfect opportunity to network. Start now by liking this post so you can share with your friends on Facebook.

Building great working relationships is key to your success and happiness in the workplace

Your effectiveness at work will largely depend on how much people want to interact and connect with you. The route to professional effectiveness is not only paved with knowledge and experience, but also with relationships. If people avoid you, it will be very difficult to do your job. If you are to make successful connections – connections that you can count on when you have new ideas and goals – you need to develop great working relationships.

Here are five steps you can take if you want to make great connections that really count:

Increase your credibility

Your credibility is the extent to which others believe what you tell them. Very often at work you will have to convince people of your point of view. You need credibility for this. You will gain a certain amount of credibility from your experience. However, if you are to make successful connections – connections that you can count on when you have new ideas and goals – you need to gain respect, create trust, and build rapport. This won’t happen if you engage in office politics and gossip. It won’t happen if you are inconsistent in your responsibilities. Credibility comes with transparency, engagement, and honest hard work.

Find common interests

Dale Carnegie said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get the other person interested in you.”

How many people in your office do you really know? How many times do you enter the lift with the same person yet never even acknowledge them? Do you walk past co-workers’ desks and never nod your head or say hi? What a sad way to work. Make an effort to get to know your colleagues and clients so that you can build on commonalities. For example, comment on a photo or an object on a colleague’s desk. You may find you have a story to share, or you may learn something new that you can discuss.

Making an effort to gain eye contact, spark up a conversation, smile, even just nod and say ‘hello’ is also a much more enjoyable and rewarding way to spend your day.

Be courteous

I’m often amazed at how discourteous some people can be in the office. I see people walk through an office in the morning, eyes down, headphones in their ears, without even acknowledging anyone around them. We’re all busy. We all have a lot of things on our minds. But that’s no excuse for rudeness.

Everyone has a right to work in a cordial environment, and work flows more smoothly when the atmosphere and the people in it are pleasant. Put a smile on your dial, and be civil.

Make others feel important

Many of my workshop participants tell me that some bosses have a lot of trouble acknowledging good work, or saying a simple “thank you” for a job well done. Feeling unimportant or unappreciated is extremely de-motivating. If you are a manager, make an effort to talk to your staff about something other than business from time to time. Ask them about their families, their upcoming holiday, their weekend. Listen to them. Show you are approachable. By doing this you will win their respect, and at the same time you’ll learn more about your staff and will pick up useful information that will help you guide and motivate them.

One of the most fundamental rules of developing relationships is to respect other people’s feelings. We all like to be recognised and appreciated. If you want to make friends and enhance your reputation as a great communicator, learn how to make others feel important.

Show humility

There’s nothing worse than someone who brags and boasts about themselves. These people will have others running away from them rather than wanting to get closer. Humility involves maintaining our pride about who we are and about our achievements, but without arrogance. Humility means having a quiet confidence and being content to let others discover your talents without having to brag about them.

Interestingly, very often the higher people rise and the more accomplishments they have, the higher their humility index. If you want to improve your relationships, practise humility. It’s a strength, not a weakness.

Most people would agree that their satisfaction at work is largely derived from the way they, their colleagues and their clients communicate. As with any other endeavour, the more you put into it, the more you’ll get back. When you start practising these basic success tools for making great connections, you will see the massive rewards they can bring, both personally and professionally.

The ultimate key to your success and happiness

The route to professional effectiveness is not only paved with knowledge and experience, but also with relationships. If people avoid you, it will be very difficult to do your job. If you are to make successful connections – connections you can count on when you have new ideas and goals – you need to develop great working relationships.

Here are five steps you can take if you want to make great connections:

1. Increase your credibilityYour credibility is the extent to which others believe what you tell them. Very often at work you will have to convince people of your point of view. You need credibility for this, so you need to gain respect, create trust, and build rapport. This won’t happen if you engage in office politics and gossip, or if you are inconsistent in your responsibilities. Credibility comes with transparency, engagement, and honest hard work.
2. Find common interestsDale Carnegie said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get the other person interested in you.”How many people in your office do you really know? Make an effort to get to know your colleagues and clients so that you can build on commonalities. Making an effort to gain eye contact, spark up a conversation, smile, even just nod and say ‘hello’ is also a much more enjoyable and rewarding way to spend your day.
3. Be courteousI see people walk through an office in the morning, eyes down, headphones in their ears, without even acknowledging anyone around them. We’re all busy. We all have a lot of things on our minds. But that’s no excuse for rudeness. Everyone has a right to work in a cordial environment, and work flows more smoothly when the atmosphere and the people in it are pleasant. Put a smile on your dial, and be civil.
4. Make others feel importantFeeling unimportant or unappreciated is extremely de-motivating. If you are a manager, make an effort to talk to your staff about something other than business from time to time. Ask them about their families, their upcoming holiday, their weekend. Listen to them. Show you are approachable. By doing this you will win their respect, and at the same time you’ll learn more about your staff and will pick up useful information that will help you guide and motivate them.One of the most fundamental rules of developing relationships is to respect other people’s feelings. We all like to be recognised and appreciated. If you want to make friends and enhance your reputation as a great communicator, learn how to make others feel important.
5. Show humilityHumility involves maintaining our pride about who we are and about our achievements, but without arrogance. Humility means having a quiet confidence and being content to let others discover your talents without having to brag about them.Interestingly, very often the higher people rise and the more accomplishments they have, the higher their humility index. If you want to improve your relationships, practise humility. It’s a strength, not a weakness.

Most people would agree that their satisfaction at work is largely derived from the way they, their colleagues and their clients communicate. As with any other endeavour, the more you put into it, the more you’ll get back. When you start practising these basic success tools for building great relationships, you will see the massive rewards they can bring, both personally and professionally.